This content contains mentions of suicide or suicide thoughts, depression and substance abuse or addiction (this includes mentions of alcohol or drug use). Please read with caution.
Do men talk about mental health?
Across the globe, among many races, ethnicity, and backgrounds, males often avoid getting help for their health. With more than twice as many males die to suicide as females. (12.6 per 100,000 males and 5.4 per 100,000 females).
Despite the slight change in how society views men and women, there is still a majority who believe men should be the breadwinners, to be strong, confident, dominant and always in control. While these traits aren’t necessarily a bad thing, this does make things harder for men to reach out and seek the help they need.
Due to that, many have used harmful coping mechanisms, such as drugs and self-harm. As well, closing off on loved ones, or acting rash or pugnacious towards others. Which often leads to their own death.
Is it different for men?
While there isn’t a different ‘male depression’, some symptoms are more common in men than in woman. These symptoms can include irritability, sudden anger, increased loss of control, and aggression. As well, men are more likely to use alcohol and drugs to cope more often than women.
Talking with a handful of male students from Lakes High School, I’ve gathered their perspective on men’s mental health, along with how they handle it themselves.
When asked about whether he hesitated to seek help for feelings of lowness, Lakes sophomore JROTC student, who preferred to remain anonymous, shared his thoughts on the topic. “Definitely; as much as I ask for help, I don’t like asking for it mainly because I feel as if I can do it by myself. But sometimes, I have to accept the fact that I can’t, and I ask for the help I need.”
A lot of male students who were interviewed as well, gave a similar response to the question. That they often hesitate in seeking out the help they need and tend to bottle it up. In addition, they also use escapist behavior, such as throwing themselves into their work.
Perspectives from students and staff
One Lakes freshmen who asked to remain anonymous, was asked about how he viewed his own health and how it affected his life. He shared that the hardest time was during the middle school years.
“When I was in middle school, I was bullied tremendously due to my hobbies. It got to a point where it was difficult for me to do the things I loved without hearing those words from others making fun of me.” He continued to talk about what other students had said about his hobbies, and what they would do both in and out of school.
“I had lost a lot of weight due to the bullying, and lost interest in the majority of my hobbies. And during the spring break, I tried taking my own life.” The student mentioned how afraid he was to ask for help- that it wasn’t until his last year at his middle school that a teacher reached out to him, helping him step by step to get the help he needed.
Other male students interviewed mentioned turning to harming themselves, drugs or doing things physically such as cutting or burning parts of their body, when they faced a similar difficult time in middle school or at a previous high school, before seeking help.
What can you do to help someone or yourself?
Ben Shultis, Lakes High School’s Japanese teacher shared multiple ways a student can go find the helps that fits you or your loved one’s needs.
- If there is a crisis, you can contact the national suicide prevention [988]
- Pierce County crisis line [1-800-576-7764]
- The Lakes counselors – this can be your assigned counselor, the mental health counselor, or military counselors that are in the school. You can request to meet with them via a slip by the entrance of the reception area. Keep in mind, depending on you or a loved one situation, it can take a few days.
Lakes High School Counselors:
If you are not wanting to see a counselor or someone from this school, there are methods that you can put as a habit into your own life that can be steps to help you. Though not every method is successful for everyone, you need to find the one that makes you comfortable, find one that fits your needs, as it varies for everyone.
- Exercise: even if it’s just taking walks, or doing a workout at home, just finding something in active that you enjoy is a great way to look forward to something. There are many sports available to join this winter season at Lakes.
- Hobbies: finding hobbies that can not only help you feel less overwhelmed, but to find an interest that you might keep going in the long run. Lakes offers all types of clubs, from Marketing and Business (DECA) to Sports Medicine to GSA- where you can find a place to belong.
Remember that you are not alone in this situation, there will always be others out the to lend a helping hand for you. As well, progress for improvement takes time, if not years to be able to heal and improve. Everyone’s progress is different.
